I'm A Loser And All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written For Me

Here's my first attempt at typing a quick note in my usual blogging style. If you decide to read it, I hope you enjoy the many lulz it provides.

Nerd, loser, geek. Adjectives that have been used to describe me in the realms of social circles. I can’t even be too sure whether a self-fulfilling prophecy has occurred, and I’m simply slipping my feet into comfortable fitting shoes, or whether I was always a loser to begin with. Either way, it doesn’t matter how I got there. Through school I never really received much respect, and the sweet taste of success in the field of love and academia seems more further out of reach for me now than peace on the Gaza Strip. Insults, rejection, physical abuse – most unwarranted and unprovoked - were abound.

Just when I thought I had suffered enough torment, along comes Good Charlotte with their popular song ‘Little Things’ and their announcement that this song was dedicated to every kid who ever got picked last in gym class, every kid who never had a date to no school dance, and everyone who's ever been called a freak. Great. Just what I needed when I get home from having my school bag spat on and doused in orange juice – a shitty song dedicated to me. It’s like throwing salt into an open wound. It’s like playing Pokémon yellow for six hours straight, training your Pikachu to an insanely high level, then going to face Brock, only to realise, “Oh shit... Pikachu’s attack has no effect on rock Pokémon” then having to go out and capture a Caterpie, evolve it into a Metapod, and then keep interchanging it during wild Pokémon battles to evolve it into Butterfree because it’s only fucking move was ‘Harden!’

Not only is ‘Little Things’ a terrible song, but it is unbelievably degrading for anyone like me. A bunch of jocks / rock stars, who can pretty much pull any girl they want, singing a song for ‘freaks’ like us. What the fuck are you trying to prove with this song? Was it just a cowardly last ditch attempt to leave us with one final insult that would stick with us forever and you would hear everywhere you go like a widely spread rumour? It feels as if they’ve kicked a helpless little lamb, broken all its legs and its spinal cord, then came back the next day and raped its helplessly paralysed body. It’s probably worse than any insult I have ever received in my life. I’d rather have a thousand girls consecutively break my heart than to have to listen to that song in its entirety. So, In lieu of this song, I thought I might type out sample lyrics from my upcoming song entitled ‘Little Dicks.’

“This song is dedicated,
to anybody who got a kick out of insulting people
to any girl who ever gave me the finger and told me I was repulsive
to any jocky prick wannabe talentless PRICK who wants to write a song dedicated to losers that’s an even greater insult than anything they’ve ever taken in their lives...

...FUCK YOU”